Dear You

 Dear You, I don’t even know why I bother writing this stuff, it’s so ridiculous. But you know what’s ridiciulous? You. The way you just liked me for a while and then didn’t give a shit. One of your friends tried to tell me to ‘forget older guys, because they’ll just leave you behind’ Seriously? You’re like 9 months older than me, sure, you might be giant tall and I’m reasonably short, but wouldn’t that be cute? Please don’t be shallow like your friend, I know the only reason he didn’t want to date my friend was because she was to short, seriously? What a dickhead.

I know you used to really like me, you told my bestfriend. I know you’ve never had a girlfriend, you’ve never kissed a girl and I know you don’t really crush on many girls, you’re pretty reserved aren’t you? To be honest, I was so flattered that you were into me, but I didn’t really like you, come on, I’d met you like once and later that day, you followed me and my mum around the Supermarket, I pretended it pissed me off, but it was so cute. I also pretended that I couldn’t see you in the next asle, watching me, but I knew you were, it was cute.
I’m really sorry that I wasn’t all that interested in you at the start. To be honest, I was to absorbed by another guy, of which had a girlfriend and I’d never even spoken to. But you were really nice, and I didn’t want to let a good guy walk away, so I convinced myself to open up to other people and to you. That took a fucking lot of effort.
I know your story, my best friend told me, but I knew it before you told it. For fuck’s sake, I’ve lived your story. Kids were horrible to you weren’t they? Yeah, same here. You genuinely think you’re ugly don’t you? Yeah, same here. You’ve seriously considered taking your own life haven’t you? Yeah, same here. And it wasn’t that long ago was it? Yeah, same here. I’m really sorry about all the shit you’ve been through, I know what it feels like to feel like shit all the time, to just feel worthless all the time. I knew your story before you told it, I wonder if you know mine even though I’ve never told it…
I’m really sorry that I went to my cousins house for the week instead of hanging out with you. I really wish I had.
I’ve never met someone as beautiful as you. Sure, you aren’t everyones idea of perfect, but I think you’re lovely.
I hope you know that I have no self-esteem, and when you liked me, I felt better about myself, but when you stopped, my self-esteem became lower than ever. And that’s where I am right now. You fucking asshole.
Even though you’re a complete asshole, I still like you.
When my guy best friend gets home next week, I’m going to take photos of him. You asked if you could come along didn’t you? Well, you asked my best friend, not me, but you still asked didn’t you? You know what I think would be cute? Help me when I take the photos, even though I’m rather capable.
I’m sorry that I don’t have the confidence to tell you I like you.
I’m sorry that I can’t give up on you. There’s always that little thought in my mind that you stopped talking to me because you were scared to come up to me in person, and tell me that you liked me, because that’s why I stopped talking to you. You’ve never gone up to someone and told them you really liked them before have you? Me neither. I don’t blame you for being shit scared, if that’s why.
Asking Alexandria are touring soon. You’ll never read this, but if you do, or if it just comes to you and you decide to do something about us, I’d like to go to Asking Alexandria with you. You really like the song Reckless & Relentless don’t you? You should kiss me in that song.
Most of all, I’m really sorry that you don’t like me back.
Love,
Me